Our group was sleeping overnight in a yurt and a tipi right along the East Fork of the Salmon river. Lots of water sounds and energy afoot. This was an annual event for our group and I recall that summer we had kept putting it off and it got late in the season for it, but luckily not too late. It was to be my last one. It seems like yesterday.
I can recall vividly sitting in the shade with the women I had been sharing dreams with for around 9 years, doing this small drawing and wondering, at the time, why it was so compelling. Oh, it was! Looking back it seems to mark the beginning of a turning inside me, the awakening of desire, you could call it, from a very deep place. I was responding to a call for true intimacy into my life. For me this meant a re-engagement with the masculine sex. Since I had changed and grown in the previous 10 years of conscious celibacy it seemed I would attract a man who would mirror this new maturity.
Yesterday I made some minor changes to the colored pencil drawing. I made the man, who was more blue, a darker, more neutral color, and the woman more pale, more a mauve-pink than red. I chose a mysterious deep-space, cosmic background. The lovers are not meant to be real people so much as symbols of an inner experience of oneness often facilitated by the magic of sex. Differences are not so much resolved as transcended in this kind of experience. For a moment we can see who we really are, not separate from our partner, nor anything or anyone in truth. I would define intimacy as that awareness of oneness, the willingness to strive for it as truth, even in the face of conflict or fear of emotional pain.
To get myself psyched up for writing this blog I checked out the comments of admired astrologer, Barbara Hand Clow. Her AstroFlash blog might be worth your attention. I will recap some of the highlights. On the chart for this New Moon we have, naturally, the Sun and Moon conjunct in Scorpio. Really we are in the solar time of Scorpio, which provides a theme in itself, for pondering your own New Moon intentions. What are your "true feelings?" Scorpio is always asking this question, always probing deeper, too, for answers. What are my deep desires? Who am I really?
The planet Venus is in Scorpio now and is in retrograde motion. In fact it will be going back into the beginning degrees of Libra before moving forward back into Scorpio. Currently this position of Venus is trine Neptune and Chiron (they are together) suggesting a spiritual direction toward the Divine Feminine, a time of thrust toward balancing the male and female powers. Barbara Hand Clow points out that, "division in partnerships (male and female) is the genesis of violence." And goes on to suggest that any work to change the world begins at home.
With Sun and Moon poised in the center of Scorpio (at 13 degrees +) the power of Pluto is very strong in this New Moon. I would use it to continue releasing, letting go and taking out the old, the obsolete, to make space for the wintering we are about to go through. What to hold on to, what to release? Where are our losses and where/how can we find regeneration? To merge deeply with the object of our desire we must feel safe in the clear and definite boundaries we have worked to integrate within ourselves.